Being Amazing for Dads
- How to have an Inspirational Relationship with your Child.
However, I cannot create such a powerful book without your help. Therefore, I urge you to get involved in putting together this book by answering a very simple question on my unique website for the book - www.askharun.com.
In order to give you the best stories, I need you to take 60 seconds of your time to help make a difference to thousands of lives. Would you do that for me?
In fact, as a 'thank you', I will send you the first three chapters of the book as my gift to you as soon as it is published. Furthermore, if you tell your friends all about it, I will send you another gift - Being Amazing for Dads audio book so that you can listen to the book in the comfort of your car, MP3 player or hi-fi.
I'm grateful for your support. Many thanks!
Harun Rabbani
2 comments:
Hey Harun
Great article.
In my many years of work with parents going through difficulties I have definitely found that very specific praise is more helpful to children than general praise.
So, "Brilliant, you've done an excellent job of tidying your room. Everything is away and it looks great." works better than "Fantastic, you've done really well".
It seems that unless we actually tell the child what was good about what they've done and give them praise they can use it doesn't stick. They need to know exactly what was good about it. This more specific praise allows them to apply their learning to new situations.
So, it's not simply praising your children that's important it's telling what was good about what they have done.
Please praise your kids thoughtfully.
Mica
Hi Harun
I think dads need so much encouragement. It's a bit like poor teenagers being blamed for everything I think. They feel everyone thinks they're doing such a rubbish job, there's no point bothering, they'll get it wrong anyway.
Of course this is not all dads. Some are doing a brilliant job of being a dad.
In my work with families going through difficulties (www.fixourfamily.co.uk) many of the dads I come across feel so worried about "how" to get it right, they end up doing very little and still not getting it right.
It feels like a no-win situation to so many. But children so need their dads, whether thats living with them or not.
My experience is that although break-ups are painful for children, as long as their parents can maintain enough of a relationship for the children to continue regular contact with both parents and NOT TO FEEL GUILTY about that, the kids come out OK.
Obviously, if a family is functioning well and the parents are together, that's great. But in that case dads, please play with your kids. Don't just concentrate on bringing in the money. Your children need you now!
It's ironic that many children of separated parent get to spend more quality time with their dads than children whose parents are together!
Finally Dads, asking for help in this extremely difficult area doesn't make you a wimp! This is very complex stuff and for many of us in this generation of parents our dads were absent in some way so couldn't show us how brilliant they were at being a dad.
Mica
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