Dads at Birthday Parties

Last Friday evening my niece was celebrating her 4th birthday party with her family and friends. She had the time of her life with her friends and cousins from the age of two through to her eleven-year old brother. There must have been approximately 48 people at her party!

There was one thing though that stuck out like a sore thumb for me. All the mums (14 in total) of the children were present at the party, but other than my brother-in-law and me, not one of the children were accompanied by their dads.

Could it be that all the dads were at work? (The party was from 4.30pm till 7pm.) Are birthday parties not so important enough for dads to attend? Would children prefer to not have their dads around at parties?

To be honest, I don't have an answer. But I do know this much: Every experience your child has involves an overflow of emotions and feelings. During peak events (positive or negative ones), permanent emotions are created which become part of a child's physiological make-up. Those molecules of emotion are spread throughout different parts of the body and are part of, what we call, the 'mind'.

In other words, when your child is experiencing a peak state, they will subconsciously associate those 'happy' moments with all that is going on in their environment and the activities they're doing with the people they're doing it with. As a dad, even if you were doing no more than being present when your child is enjoying the fun with their friends, they will associate the feelings of 'fun' with you.

And the more often you're present when they're having a fun time (especially when they're below the age of 7 or 8), the more he/she will associate fun with you throughout their life. What a powerful way to build an inspirational relationship with your child!!!

Harun Rabbani

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