Both Childline and the NSPCC have reported an increase of childhood suicide which has tripled in five years. Although the suicide rate for boys hase increased, 80% of suicides are by girls.
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC), which runs a free 24-hour helpline, said it received an average of almost 60 calls from suicidal youngsters every week.
Of that number, one in 14 needs urgent medical care or is in immediate danger. Some children told counsellors they had already tried to kill themselves while others made attempts to do so while on the phone. Almost a third of suicidal callers told volunteers they had been physically abused, with one in five children disclosing sexual abuse.
Ten-year-old Sophie told a counsellor: "I hate my life now dad's gone because I get blamed for everything and mum is in the pub every day.
Another child, Paul, 13, said: "I feel like killing myself. My mum and dad beat me and I'm getting bullied at school.
"I don't have anyone else to turn to except ChildLine. No one else would be able to help me. I'm scared of telling anyone."
Children can feel suicidal for a number of reasons, including family problems, bullying, abuse and exam stress, said Sue Minto, head of ChildLine.
The NSPCC said 80 per cent of calls to ChildLine about suicide were from girls, but calls from boys are rising fast and are now four times higher than five years ago.
When a child is so desperate that they feel being dead is less painful than being alive, you need to ask yourself this: WHY?
Isn't it about high time that both parents took full on responsibility to raise their child? Dads need to begin to take a much more active role in their child's upbringing. Ignorance is not an option and no longer a good enough excuse. There are numerous parenting workshops and throughout the UK, both online and classroom based. If you're a dad and you are seriously interested in attending a workshop, then feel free to attend the Amazing Dads Weekend that I host. It is absolutely free of charge.
In the meantime, the best way you can help prevent other families from the devastation caused by childhood suicide is through education. Send a link to this email to any parent you know. It's an investment in the future of our country and our world.
Harun Rabbani
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Child labour works!
One of the activities that my sons enjoy the most is playing football together on weekends. They've developed into 9 and 7 year old experts in Premiership football and are now light years ahead of me on footballing news.
Last weekend, I thought we'd do something different. I asked them if they would help me with gardening work for their grandmother and us. The task was to dig up part of the lawn and turn it into a vegetable patch. The challenge was that the soil was pretty thick clay and it was and the roots of the grass were embedded deeply into the ground. So whilst I was digging up the top level of soil and grass, they collected it in a large bucket and carried to another part of the garden to offload it.
A seemingly trivial and simple exercise turned into something of great fascination. Kasim, my seven year old son, was delegating the work out between himself and Hamza, his 9 year old brother. They would ask each other if the other was tired and would swap over the bucket-carrying. This went on for 30 minutes.
Then I told them that we had 10-minutes left to finish the job and needed to speed up. That's exactly what they did. They were egging each other on and rooting for me, too.
By doing something simple as gardening, my children were able to unfold their leadership and team-playing skills in true technicolour. After they finished, they admitted that today was the best day ever!
How amazing is that when you can take everyday chores and turn it into a personal evolvement exercise for your child? There are hundreds of 'little' things you can do with your child and make it fun for both of you. Learning and evolving is not restricted to the cloisters of academia. The school of life provides much more opportunities than that. Have a go!
Harun Rabbani
Last weekend, I thought we'd do something different. I asked them if they would help me with gardening work for their grandmother and us. The task was to dig up part of the lawn and turn it into a vegetable patch. The challenge was that the soil was pretty thick clay and it was and the roots of the grass were embedded deeply into the ground. So whilst I was digging up the top level of soil and grass, they collected it in a large bucket and carried to another part of the garden to offload it.
A seemingly trivial and simple exercise turned into something of great fascination. Kasim, my seven year old son, was delegating the work out between himself and Hamza, his 9 year old brother. They would ask each other if the other was tired and would swap over the bucket-carrying. This went on for 30 minutes.
Then I told them that we had 10-minutes left to finish the job and needed to speed up. That's exactly what they did. They were egging each other on and rooting for me, too.
By doing something simple as gardening, my children were able to unfold their leadership and team-playing skills in true technicolour. After they finished, they admitted that today was the best day ever!
How amazing is that when you can take everyday chores and turn it into a personal evolvement exercise for your child? There are hundreds of 'little' things you can do with your child and make it fun for both of you. Learning and evolving is not restricted to the cloisters of academia. The school of life provides much more opportunities than that. Have a go!
Harun Rabbani
Monday, 16 March 2009
How you create your outer world throught your inner reality
Here's a story that will help illustrate how dads can get caught up in a mess when they neglect how they create their own reality. Enjoy.
A client of mine was having the most awful time with his ex-partner. They seemed to be the perfect couple in the first few months of their relationship. However, most of their communication was remote (emails, telephone, etc) due to work and travel commitments. When they were with each other, they had a brilliant time. But they split up soon after they met. The relationship was indeed one of the most short-lived he’d experienced in his life.
However, there was one big challenge facing both of them. Shortly after seeing each other for the last time, his former partner revealede she got pregnant. No matter how much effort was made for reconciliation over the next few months, it became all too apparent that they were not going to be with each other.
Eventually, a beautiful baby girl was born. Both parents were elated. As the father was financially broke, he could not get to see his daughter who lived many thousands of miles away. He spent most of the next few months piecing his life back together but tried his best to stay in touch with his former partner. Unfortunately, over time, she was getting angrier and angrier with him for not 'showing' love to his daughter. He had no clue what she meant nor was she able to explain it so that he could understand.
Communication deteriorated rapidly between the two parents. On one hand, he was pleading to be kept up-to-date with his daughter’s progress. He kept promising her that as soon as it was possible, he would fly over to see the mother and daughter. Nine months passed and still nothing. He was still hand-to-mouth. And given, the state of the economic crisis hitting most of the developed world, his frustration of finding work was turning to despair.
On the other hand, his former partner’s written communication became more and more deriding of the father. Her language became more and more colourful. The man felt he was walking on eggshells. He wanted to call and email regularly, but found it very heart-breaking to connect due to the aggressive nature of her written and spoken word. But then, when he reduced his communications, she would condemn him even more for not caring enough to stay in touch. This was a no-win situation. The real loser was going to be the child no matter what either parents thought of the other.
When my client approached me for guidance, I reminded him that he created his own reality. The only thing he could change was his own inner reality. I asked him to separate the facts from opinions about his situation. He realised that the situation that he is in now was of his own making. His many micro-decisions ultimately led to his outer reality in which he lives.
But all was not lost. If you can create an inner reality that you really prefer not to have, then you can change it to one you prefer to enjoy. When he asked me about how he could change his former partner, I explained he can't. He can only change whether he reacts or whether he reponds to her. Once again, her outer reality is created from her inner world. The good news is that when he transforms himself to the being he chooses, then her world would transform...even if it was by a smidgen!
Harun Rabbani
A client of mine was having the most awful time with his ex-partner. They seemed to be the perfect couple in the first few months of their relationship. However, most of their communication was remote (emails, telephone, etc) due to work and travel commitments. When they were with each other, they had a brilliant time. But they split up soon after they met. The relationship was indeed one of the most short-lived he’d experienced in his life.
However, there was one big challenge facing both of them. Shortly after seeing each other for the last time, his former partner revealede she got pregnant. No matter how much effort was made for reconciliation over the next few months, it became all too apparent that they were not going to be with each other.
Eventually, a beautiful baby girl was born. Both parents were elated. As the father was financially broke, he could not get to see his daughter who lived many thousands of miles away. He spent most of the next few months piecing his life back together but tried his best to stay in touch with his former partner. Unfortunately, over time, she was getting angrier and angrier with him for not 'showing' love to his daughter. He had no clue what she meant nor was she able to explain it so that he could understand.
Communication deteriorated rapidly between the two parents. On one hand, he was pleading to be kept up-to-date with his daughter’s progress. He kept promising her that as soon as it was possible, he would fly over to see the mother and daughter. Nine months passed and still nothing. He was still hand-to-mouth. And given, the state of the economic crisis hitting most of the developed world, his frustration of finding work was turning to despair.
On the other hand, his former partner’s written communication became more and more deriding of the father. Her language became more and more colourful. The man felt he was walking on eggshells. He wanted to call and email regularly, but found it very heart-breaking to connect due to the aggressive nature of her written and spoken word. But then, when he reduced his communications, she would condemn him even more for not caring enough to stay in touch. This was a no-win situation. The real loser was going to be the child no matter what either parents thought of the other.
When my client approached me for guidance, I reminded him that he created his own reality. The only thing he could change was his own inner reality. I asked him to separate the facts from opinions about his situation. He realised that the situation that he is in now was of his own making. His many micro-decisions ultimately led to his outer reality in which he lives.
But all was not lost. If you can create an inner reality that you really prefer not to have, then you can change it to one you prefer to enjoy. When he asked me about how he could change his former partner, I explained he can't. He can only change whether he reacts or whether he reponds to her. Once again, her outer reality is created from her inner world. The good news is that when he transforms himself to the being he chooses, then her world would transform...even if it was by a smidgen!
Harun Rabbani
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
