The New Story, Part Four: The Key to Handling Fear

We live in a world of duality. Everything has its equal and opposite. Look around you and you see evidence everywhere. This is something that my children love learning about. For example, have you ever touched those prickly stinging nettles that you find growing in undergrowth in woods and in parks or even in untamed English gardens?

Although the nettles do leave a nasty, stinging sensation, they have a cure very close by. Everywhere you find stinging nettles, you will find the broad dock leaves growing nearby. Once you've been stung, all you need to do is to rub a dock leaf on the part of your body to counteract the effect of the nettles.

Everything in the manifest world has its equal and opposite. This is Mother Nature's way of keeping checks and balances.

So it is true about 'e'-motions and feelings. Fear is one of the biggest fuels for the 'Ego'. The more you are fearful of something, the bigger the Ego becomes. (I'll explain Ego more clearly in a future blog.)

When you try to motivate your child through fear, you are in fact feeding and growing their Ego.
The Ego lives off victimhood. This then reinforces the desire for that child to unconsciously seek out things that they feel fearful of. Then when that happens, the Ego gets all the juice it needs to become more of a 'victim'.

Have you noticed, for example, that people who are 'victims' of circumstance and prey to their environment and everybody else's opinions and behaviours. The Self, however, sees the world from a different perspective. Instead of seeing problems, they have challenges. Instead of being in a recession, they're looking out for the opportunities. Instead blaming others for their condition, they choose to learn from their experiences.

In my humble opinion, the key to handling fear is to know that with every 'negative' situation, its positive counterpart is thriving in equal amount. Where you find something to be sad about, when you look you'll find something else to be happy about. Out of every sadness, joy is also to be found.

So for example, if your child does not pass a test at school, it is a great way to recognise where they can improve on. Or when your child comes last in a race at school, they may learn a new way of becoming better in that race or get more motivated to train harder or even find a sport that they do excel in.

In the case of specific fears, do as Susan Jeffers recommends - 'feel the fear and do it anyway'.

The New Story is the unfolding of a generation of future leaders who will not lead their lives by being motivated by fear, shame and guilt. They will excel despite that and because they choose to use emotions that are energy creating such as compassion, empathy, love and courage....the latter being the equal and opposite of fear.

Help your son and daughter to create balance in their life by seeing the upside to every downside and by making them aware that every upside has its counterbalance. Make sure you do both gently and with plenty of loving.

Harun Rabbani